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Browsing Father Michael Deering's Sunday Homilies

The Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Regret!

The Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Regret!
Homily preached Sunday, August 21, 2022
by Monsignor Michael Deering

 

Throughout time, many men and women have left their mark for others to see.

 

What that means is that their goodness or their wisdom or their success ...

was so special that it will remain to be an inspiration to succeeding generations.

 

One of those good, wise and successful people ... is Coach Nick Saban.

 

For the 15 years that he has been Head Coach at the University of Alabama, ...

Coach Saban has been leaving his mark for others to follow ... if they choose.

 

And Coach Saban was already doing this before he came to Tuscaloosa.

 

When Coach Saban was the head Coach at LSU from 1999 to 2004 ...

he left his mark there ... literally ... in the large banner that he left hanging on

the back wall of the weightlifting room where all the football players worked out.

 

And the banner says this:

There are only two pains in life: the Pain of Discipline and the Pain of Regret!

 

Wow! What wisdom!

 

It’s a wisdom that definitely applies to the game of football  ...

       but it also extends far beyond the game of football  ... into every arena of life. 

 

Here it is:

There are only two pains in life: the Pain of Discipline and the Pain of Regret!

 

And each of us gets to choose ... which pain  ... will be ours.

 

We heard about discipline in our Second reading from the Letter to the Hebrews  ...

where in just 6 verses, the author used the word “discipline” ... 5 times!

 

He announces, “At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain,

yet later it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it.

 

What do you think all the University of Alabama football players have been doing for the past 2 months?     They’ve been training ... on the field - in all this heat ... and in the weightroom ... and in the film room & eating right & getting their rest.

 

That training takes great discipline!

And that discipline can bring pain ...

but the rewards that come later ... make the pain of training all worthwhile.

 

 

Coach Saban puts his players through all this training because he wants them to win ... and he knows that they need to prepare themselves for Game Day.

 

The players are under his care ... so he disciplines them to win.

 

This is very similar to the way Parents discipline their children  ... they tell them the rules and they correct and admonish them when they stray ...  not out of anger ... but out of love ... so that they experience success and happiness in the future.

 

The great Catholic Child Psychologist, Dr. Ray Guarendi, says this ...

“Love without discipline is Child Abuse!”

 

You see, you’re not doing your children any favor by not disciplining them.

In fact, you’re doing them a big disservice ... because ...

 

Love must include discipline to prepare and protect your children in their lives.

 

They, like all of us, live in a world ... not alone ... but with countless others ...

and so they need to learn ... that they can’t always have their own way,

that they’re going to have to look out for others and share what they have,

that often they’re going to have to give up doing what they’d like to do

and do what they know they need to do to live and flourish.  

 

Well, all of us are children ... not just of our Parents ... but of God.

And God in his goodness disciplines us out of love so we make it safely to Him!

 

The author of Hebrews says,

Do not distain the discipline of the Lord or lose heart when reproved by him;

for whom the Lord loves, He disciplines ... Endure your trials as discipline.

God treats you as sons. For what ‘son’ is there whom his father does not discipline?”

 

You see, getting into the College Football Championship doesn’t just happen.

You have to want it ... and you have to train for it.

 

In the same way ... getting into Heaven doesn’t just happen.

You have to want it ... and you have to train for it.

 

In our Gospel today, Jesus says, Strive to enter through the narrow gate,

for many will attempt to enter but will not be strong enough.”

 

Are you striving for Heaven?  Are you strong enough?

Jesus says that many won’t be ... and that many won’t make it in.  

 

 

For me I have this image of a tall Stadium Gate that has those heavy turnstiles

that you must push around as you enter through them.

A weak little kid can’t push them around, but a strong grown-up can.

 

In the same way, a person with a weak relationship with Jesus won’t be able to enter heaven … only a person with a strong relationship will be able to enter.

 

Jesus warns, there will be many left standing outside the doors of the Kingdom expecting to come in ... only to be told:

“(Away from me); I do not know where you are from!

 

Can you imagine how painful it would be to hear those words?

 

On one hand, Our Lord certainly does know where we’re from ...

in that He created us and He knows our every thought and action.

 

We heard this truth in our First reading where God says through Isaiah,

“I know their works and their thoughts.”

 

So when Jesus says, “Away from Me; I do not know where you are from,”

What does He mean? He’s referring to those that have been a stranger to Him …

those who have not gotten to know Him,

those who have not established a living and loving relationship with Him.

 

In other words, Jesus really doesn’t knowwhere they’re coming from”.

 

You see, getting to know the Lord doesn’t happen all at once ... at baptism.

No, Baptism is just our initial introduction to the Trinity.

 

At the moment of our Baptism, we become:     children of the Father;

brothers & sisters of Jesus ... and Temples of the Holy Spirit!

 

That’s huge!   We are “born again” ... born into God’s family ...

but that’s just the start.       From there we have to build the relationship.

 

It’s kind of like being introduced to a handsome guy or a beautiful girl.

Meeting one another is just the beginning.

Whether or not you’ll ever speak to them again, or see them again is up to you.

 

The girl may be crazy over the guy, but if he doesn’t call her,

there’s no way that she’ll ever get to know him.

 

How many girls wish that a certain guy would call them ...  but he doesn’t.

     She knows of him, but she doesn’t know him,

because they don’t communicate and they don’t build a relationship.

 

It’s the same with Jesus.    You can know “of” Him ...

but if you don’t communicate with Him ... you’ll never really “know” Him.

 

We build relationship with God the same way we build relationship with one another … by talking and listening to Him. That’s what God wantsrelationship.

 

But sadly, many people don’t go to meet him and speak to Him in Sunday Mass.

 

And then there’s other people who resolutely go to Mass every Sunday ...

but their minds are a million miles away.    They don’t see Mass as a privileged opportunity to speak to and listen to the Risen Jesus truly present in the Eucharist.

 

So they sit here in the same room with Him ... and don’t take the initiative

to speak to Him and listen to Him.

 

Some even come late and leave early, thinking, Well, I went to Mass!”

 

Well, that’s a big mistake ... and it’s going to hurt them ...

when they get to the gate of Heaven and want to go in.

 

It would be like going up to the prettiest girl in the class ...

whom you’ve never spoken to ...  and asking her to go with you to the Prom.

 

And she says to you:    “You’ve got to be kidding!   I don’t even know you!”

 

And you say: “But we’ve been together in Algebra II and Civics and World History; we have the same lunch period ... and we ride the same bus home from school.

 

And the girl says: “Yeah that’s true ... but you’ve never even said hello!”

“And now you’re asking me to go with you to the best banquet of the year

... and I don’t even know where you are from.”

 

“So, No ... go ask someone else …because you haven’t given me

the slightest indication that you really want to be with me!”

 

Jesus speaks of this situation in our Gospel today when he says people will try to get into the Master’s House after the door is locked. And the Master will tell them:

“I don’t even know where you are from.”

 

And the people respond: We ate and drank in your company and you taught in our streets.”    But sadly they never opened their hearts to really connect with the Lord

& have a real relationship with Him.

If we don’t speak to Him & listen to Him, we won’t have relationship with Him

either ... and He won’t know ... where we’re coming from.

 

Getting to know Jesus is a lifelong process that we have to participate in.

It’s not about ... just showing up at Mass ... and fulfilling your Sunday obligation.

 

It’s about coming to Mass with the intention of speaking to God and listening to God

with an open heart and mind ... so that you build relationship with Him!

 

Do you remember what Jesus said would happen to those who get locked out?

He said ... they would be left outside the Master’s house!

 

Imagine getting to Bryant Denny Stadium for the Big Alabama – Auburn game

and finding the gate locked ... and you can’t get in.

 

Looking through the turnstile gate .. you can see all your family and friends inside, eating and drinking and having a good time ...

while you are locked outside, apart from them.

 

How painful that would be! I bet you’d be beside yourself with grief!”

 

And how much worse ... to find yourself locked out of ... the Kingdom of Heaven!

 

Jesus says,       “When you see Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and all

the prophets in the kingdom of God and you yourself cast out.

 

That’d be mighty sad.

 

But then think about being separated from the people that you personally knew ...

your Mom or your Dad ... your Husband or your Wife ... or your Children!

 

And ... how would you like being separated from God... who is Love Itself?

 

Now you can easily see why there will be much wailing and grinding of teeth.

 

Oh, the pain of regret that those people will experience ...

  • not only did they bring this pain on themselves ...
  • but the pain that they experience ... will exist forever!

 

You know, for the longest time, I never understood why our Lord indicated there’d

be both wailing and grinding of teeth if we were ever separated from Him ... whether temporarily in Purgatory ... or permanently in Hell.

 

Now, it made sense that being in flames of fire would make a person wail in torment.

But where does “the grinding of teeth” come from?

And then it dawned on me ... that that would come from our feelings of regret!

 

 

I’m sure we’ve all done things we regret, like:

  • Oh, I wish I had never stayed up so late watching TV.
  • Oh, I wish I’d packed another change of clothes in my luggage.
  • Oh, why did I wait so long:

to start this Term Paper, or finish my Taxes, or ask her out?  

 

The feeling of regret hurts.

But the regret of being shut out of Heaven will be way more painful!

 

We will be plagued with the “endless” Question:    “Why?”

 

Why didn’t I listen to Father?      Why didn’t I obey my Mom and Dad?

 

Why didn’t I go to Mass?         Why didn’t I go to Confession?

 

Why did I do drugs?    Why did I have sex outside of Marriage?

 

Why? Why? Why?        Those outside Heaven will experience such a sickening level of regret that they will grind and nash their teeth in utter disconsolation!

 

Why? Because it’s the Why? that will never be answered ...

the Why that will never go away!

 

Because the separation they brought on themselves is an eternal separation.

 

God wants to preserve us from this.

 

As He says in Hebrews, “Strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees. Make straight paths for your feet, that what is lame may not be disjointed but healed.

 

Jesus beseeches us, Strive to enter through the narrow gate.”

 

I, your Pastor, and Spiritual Coach, will continue to remind you of the discipline necessary to enter through the Narrow Gate of Heaven.

 

After preaching about the necessity of Sunday Mass, yearly Confession and Marriages Blessed in the Church ... many of you have taken this seriously and taken action to live in accord with these teachings of the Church.

 

But some have not.         I heard one guy say,    “Father’s, too rigorous.”

 

Really?       I wonder if he’d say that about Coach Saban.

 

 

“Come on, coach ... lighten up don’t be so rigorous on those guys in the weight room

...

but you darn well better win on Saturday!”

 

The only way to win on Saturday, is to be disciplined the other 6 days of the week.

 

To win the National Championship takes discipline.

To win the Kingdom of Heaven takes discipline.

 

And, discipline often involves pain ... but then, so does regret.

 

Remember the powerful declaration that Nick Saban left us:

“There are only 2 pains in life … the pain of discipline and the pain of regret.”

 

Pick your pain.   The Pain of Discipline is temporary.  

         The Pain of Regret is eternal!

 

Let’s keep the discipline that helps us build our relationship with Jesus.

 

If we do, then we’ll be strong enough to enter through the Narrow Gate

          and once we’re in Heaven ... we’ll be free of all Regrets!

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